Tormented Cries
by Lychee Fairy
Summary: One-shot. Kai writes down what he thinks of life before doing the unthinkable. No one seems to care about him. Why is he on Earth then? This fic talks in part about strange beliefs about humans' faith.


Hi, it's me Lychee Fairy. I opened my computer one evening and wrote this down. I think it's kinda weird... I'm a strange person I think too. Well, I'd love it if you'd want to read it. It's slightly different of what you usually read on fanfiction.net.

GOB: If you ever read this, I'll try to write the new chapter before I leave saturday. Please I'm trying my best to write something worthy and it takes me time. Don't be mad.  
  
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_I just hate. Hate everything. How can people be happy? How can the ones around me be happy? While I'm suffering they're just smiling like they're insane! Can't they see how I feel? Do they feel anything for me? Yes they say. Yah sure.  
  
People are just losers who can't see how the world sucks. They don't want to admit that we live to suffer; we live to die in pain. They don't want to see it. Face it! We're all born to die. If we decide to have children, it's to hide to ourselves how much life is unbearable. Seeing babies laugh makes us think humans aren't that bad, there's hope. There isn't, these children won't be happy for long. It will be over when they will discover their parents just had them to give them part of their pain, to hide the truth.  
  
And all of this has gone on since thousands of years. Nothing gets better, it's worse each day. Since so much time humans say they're getting smarter and smarter, they're getting closer to the key to happiness. They're just lying; haven't they understood since centuries that everything is hopeless? No hope no nothing. All of you are doomed, doomed since you were created. No one will come and rescue you, NO ONE! There is not any God, any angels looking after you. The people you lost, they're dead. They're not in heaven or anything. When their heart stopped beating, their mind shut off. Nothing. Empty. They don't exist anymore. And neither will you when your brain will shut down. Face it. You can't do anything about it.  
  
Me too, I am born to disappear. I am born to bear part of the Earth's pain. And leave with it. When all of her pain will be gone, then humans won't exist anymore. Everyone will be destroyed, everything people created will disappear. When our duty is done, we won't have any reason to keep on living. We'll die in pain, like always. But this time, it will be worse than you can ever imagine. The first second of the beginning of your death, you'll wish you can die right away. But no, it will be very long, very painful, till your body and your mine are completely demolished. By this time your blood will have drained around your rotten flesh. Your eyes will be wide open but your gaze will be blank. Your face will be contorted in unimaginable pain; your mouth will be open, remainder of your heart-rending howls. The earth will be fuming, ashes will be seen everywhere. The only colors will be grey and black. The colors that have always been there, from the beginning till the end. A single cloud will be covering all the sky; the sun won't be visible anymore. Burned trees will be rising from the ground, but nothing else will stand. A painful silence will reign on Earth, so painful it could make you go insane.  
  
Only after numerous years will life be seen again. Small creatures will replace the old remains. Then bigger ones. They will cover the entire planet once again. Until the Earth is in pain and decides to end everything. The endless cycle will be repeated once again. And this will go on forever.  
  
I don't want to end this way. I know I can't escape my death's pain, but it won't be for the planet. I think I've beard enough of her torments, she won't have the pleasure to play with me anymore.  
  
People say I'm sadistic, that I don't like anything. I'm dark and unsociable. It's true. I am this way only because I've understood there's no point of being happy. My childhood didn't help either; being badly treated by humans who didn't love you and pretended to is very painful. So why bother continuing to fight? "We love you, don't do it. We're here for you." Yes, of course. Easier said than done huh? When I'm really down, you know it, but decide to ignore it. Thank you. That's called love.  
  
I'm pissed of 'caring' all alone. You care, but for nothing. You can't protect anyone just by caring. You're not a supreme being, just a common mortal. Life is ruthless, humans are mean; act nice and think positive don't help. You'll just blind yourself and wake up one day broken and all alone. People won't change; they try, but never succeed. I understood it a long time ago, now it's your turn.  
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I wrote all of this on a piece of paper. Someone may find it someday. Maybe the under-taker's assistant. I smirk at the idea. I wonder what will happen after my death. I mean, the people's reactions.  
  
"Kai was a good boy."  
  
"I wonder why he did it."  
  
"We loved him so much. What did he want more?"  
  
I doubt the first one will be said. I hardly remember anyone saying that. Just the people who didn't know me well, like adults. In fact, I wonder if I've ever been happy. If I ever thought "I want my life to be like now. I'm so glad to be alive." I don't remember I ever did. Wow, great life. Not even twenty yet and I feel I've already suffered like I was eighty.  
  
I look down at the sheet on my desk. Part of the ink has been dissolved by my tears, but the words are still visible. I sigh, I better live it there. A knife is waiting for me. I don't even say goodbye, we'll soon all be joined in hell.  
  
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Two days later  
  
"We all learned a lesson in Kai's death. How cold and selfish we all are. Everyone here knew the pain he was in, yet nobody did anything to help, not even a hug. When we were asking "are you okay?" we didn't even pay attention to the answer, not even noticed it wasn't matching with the look in his eyes. We are all responsible of his disappearance; we weren't there when he needed us the most. All we did was being concerned of our own self, of our success. We didn't realize how much it wasn't important compared to the well-being of the ones surrounding us. We were just stuck on material things, not on emotions. Kai thought people can't change. Well watch us Kai, we will. You taught us how wrong we were about life. From now on, we'll go on the right road, we won't be diverged like before. I know you can hear us from where you are. We won't make the same mistake twice, watch us. We love you Kai."  
  
Max remained quiet after Tyson's talk as he looked down at a sheet in his hand. It was the one they had found when they came over to Kai's mansion. Part of the ink was dissolved, he had cried. When they discovered his body, they noticed his face wasn't in pain, but in sadness. He was sad no one ever bothered understanding him.  
  
Rei looked down at a picture of Kai in his hands; he was smiling on it. One of his rare smiles. It was taken on his last birthday; a lot of people were there for him. This day, they succeeded to make him forget his pain. It was one of the greatest days the Bladebreakers ever had. But now, it was over. Never will they laugh again without the bitter thought of Kai's absence to remain them to stop goofing off.  
  
Kenny was looking at Kai's beyblade. He still had it in his pocket when he died. The bitchip was empty. Dranzer had left with her master. Like this the young man wouldn't be alone in death. Kenny sighed; he had always looked up to Kai for advice. For him, he was strong and unbreakable. The fiery warrior. Now he knew his leader wasn't as heartless as he thought; Kai had feelings too. But it was too late now, nothing could be changed. The only real bond Kai ever had was with his bitbeast, she was the only one who was always there for him, from the beginning... till the end.  
  
The Bladebreakers were crying. Crying for their captain, the most courageous person they have ever met. The person who needed to be protected the most was now gone. What would have happen if they had acted differently? If all of this had never happened? Kai would maybe be besides the incomplete team right now. Not saying anything probably, but strengthening the teens by his presence. They were cold and weak now, the warm phoenix not protecting them anymore.  
  
Tears were falling on the cold floor. Hugs were given sometimes, but they weren't enough to heal the broken hearts. Cries were heard everywhere. The dark clouds covering the entire sky increased the now lost souls' pain. Light had completely disappeared since the day the phoenix fell. The entire nature seemed to be crying too like it was feeling responsible too for having given such torments to the young boy.  
  
Kai was right. The people's smiles were gone by a dark day. They had all realized how wrong they were about their attitude. Their happiness was destroyed in loud cries and tears falling from wide open eyes.  
  
He had only made one mistake; humans can change. They can make incredible efforts if they want, they can love. They can help each other; they just have to discover their healing power. When you love and care, you will go through all obstacles to make sure the most important people for you can open their hearts and smile for their entire life.  
  
Kai had taught them this unforgettable lesson.   
  
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Strange... That's all I can say about it. I would like it if you tell me what you think about it. Thank you.


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